Five Sisters Zoo

Sunday, 27 September 2015

The problem with being an adult is you’re suddenly responsible for finding your own entertainment. As a child my parents thought of the majority of ways my time could be spent (apparently reading in a cupboard wasn’t a suitable way to spend every single weekend) but now, they don’t decide and I have to rack my own brain for ideas. Things aren’t helped by my other half who is awfully indecisive so you can imagine my surprise when he decided we should spend our Saturday at the Five Sisters Zoo in West Calder.

Five Sisters Zoo

Neither of us had actually heard of the Five Sisters Zoo before but after hearing his mum enjoyed her visit we were eager to go. We were rather confused when we finally rolled up to the zoo to find it looked like a construction site. The panic set in and I started to think his mum had punk’d us but fortunately, the only real construction that is currently being carried out is on the new lion enclosure and eating area.

We started our visit to the zoo with the meerkats. We recently went to Blair Drummond Safari Park and I was left a little distressed by the size of their meerkat enclosure so Five Sisters large meerkat area made me rather happy. I absolutely adore meerkats and couldn’t get enough of the little babies chasing the adults.

There was a considerable amount of animals surrounding the meerkats so we spent quite a lot of time in just the one area. We were disappointed that the porcupine didn’t want to come out of its little hut but hey, if I had people gawping at me all day I probably wouldn’t come out either. The rest of the animals were livelier though so I’ll leave the porcupine alone.

Five Sisters Zoo
The lemur doesn't look very pleased does it?

The Five Sisters Zoo has a wide variety of apes to stare at so we watched them swing around in their enclosures. We did have a staring contest with one monkey and he managed to end it by almost urinating on us. I’m not sure what we did to deserve that one but I think I’ll bring a poncho next time I go to a zoo.

If you’re a big fan of birds then the Five Sisters Zoo will spoil you rotten. I felt a little sorry for all of the parrots since everyone who went to look at them insisted on shouting “hello” at them. There was a sign up stating that the parrots were former pets and may offend people with what they come out with. I was kind of hoping they would tell everyone where to go but I guess they were being polite that day.

Five Sisters Zoo

While we spent quite a large portion of our day in the main bit, we did manage to make our way over to the new lion area, the bears and the Arctic wolves. This part of the zoo was a little difficult to find due to it being hidden behind the play area but it meant it was much quieter than the rest of the place. I’m afraid there’s only so many times I can have parents push in front of me with their children before I start throwing rocks.

My other half spotted an Arctic wolf running laps while we wee walking over to the bears so he chose to run with the wolf. Needless to say, the wolf outran him spectacularly but he’s now proud to say he ran alongside a wolf – just ignore the fence in between them.

Five Sisters Zoo

Once we had had our fill on the animals in the quieter section we made our way over to the wallabies. You can actually walk amongst the wallabies and their little chicken and rabbit friends so we had a delightful time doing that. I guess we entered the area at the wrong time since 2 wallabies were feeling a bit frisky and had to go into a shed to fulfil their needs. At least they had some privacy but it was over awfully fast. I’d be quite disappointed if I was the female.

Five Sisters Zoo

We ended our trip to the Five Sisters zoo in a rather odd area. I’m always amused when zoos have the likes of Guinea pigs and goats so I had a little giggle at what I can only describe as the “petting” zoo. My other half and I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with the goats and even named one of them Majestic. He’s a cute little thing and I was so tempted into taking him home with us.

We did head into the reptile area while in the petting zoo bit and I got the fright of my life when we walked through a door to find an iguana just hanging out over our heads. He was pretty chill but I wasn’t expecting him to be right there. There are also a decent amount of snakes in this part of the zoo and I am absolutely terrified of them. The tarantula that was curled up in its cage didn’t really help me either. I did enjoy the little tortoises though so they pulled me out of my fear; it’s the first time I’ve seen tortoises when they aren’t procreating (there’s a wonderful place in Barbados where the tortoises seem to spend their whole days having orgies and the public can perv on them).

Five Sisters Zoo

After one last visit to the meerkats we decided to end our time at the Five Sisters Zoo. Of course I had to buy the Blue Raspberry Bon Bons from the gift shop before we left but at least I didn’t insist on getting the toy goat I wanted. My other half and I were rather impressed with the zoo and for once, it didn’t leave me completely bummed out like most animal places do. The majority of the animals in the Five Sisters Zoo seemed quite lively and happy which is something I can’t really say about the majority of zoos and safari parks I’ve been to. I still wish I brought Majestic the goat home with us though, maybe next time!

My Favourite MAC Lipsticks

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

MAC lipsticks

As my lips are currently suffering through a dry, flaky spell I’m missing out on all of my beautiful lipsticks. It’s always a little heart-breaking opening my make up drawer and having to bypass all lip products. To curb my lipstick cravings (because I obviously sit and munch lipsticks all night) I present you with my favourite MAC lipsticks! Let’s do this.

MAC Lady Danger

Lady Danger (Matte)

This was my first ever MAC lipstick and of course, it’s a beautiful, classic red with a bit of a twist. Lady Danger is a matte lipstick (a personal preference) that glides on just as well as MAC’s Amplified formulas. It’s a warm toned red with a hint of orange and I imagine this looks good on a lot of people. I’ve purchased multiple red lipsticks since I acquired Lady Danger but this still remains my favourite red lipstick of all time.

MAC Chatterbox

Chatterbox (Amplified)

Let’s tone it down a little with Chatterbox shall we? Chatterbox is a lovely pink shade that reminds me of the first ever lipstick I owned (a Rimmel London one that smelt like Smarties). It’s too bright to be considered for the most conservative of workplaces but that’s part of the appeal for me. Chatterbox is something I apply when I don’t want to spend too much time getting ready but still want to look presentable.

MAC Flat out Fabulous

Flat Out Fabulous (Retro Matte)

This is my go to lipstick for night’s out as it doesn’t seem to budge from my lips whatsoever. Flat Out Fabulous is a colour that seems to vary in description depending on who you speak to. I would describe it as a pink with a purple undertone but I’ve seen it described as bright fuchsia, berry and vibrant purple. As it’s a Retro Matte finish it can be a little drying but it’s a gorgeous colour and really amps up an outfit.

MAC Impassioned

Impassioned (Amplified)

This is my favourite lipstick of all time! I lusted over Impassioned for absolutely ages before finally buying it and I completely regret waiting. It’s my go to lipstick for all occasions and I love the little boost of confidence it gives me. Impassioned applies so well and it remains creamy feeling throughout the day. It rarely dries out my lips and it always looks good.

I could probably go on and on but I think 4 is a safe number to end this at. I don’t think writing any of this helped my lipstick cravings. I just really want to slap Impassioned all over my face and run around outside now. This is perfectly normal behaviour!

Ingliston Revival

Friday, 18 September 2015

After 5 days of glorious sun Scotland thought to itself “there’s an event on at Ingliston this weekend and I believe Mel and her family are going, I think I’ll rain on them” and thus, the story of how I got drenched at Ingliston Revival was born.

I actually had no intention of going to the Ingliston Revival on September 12th as I had absolutely no idea it was even on – they really need to step up their marketing game. My other half and I ended up tagging along with my parents after my dad got far too excited about half price tickets for the event. It’s a perfectly normal thing to get overly enthusiastic about.

Ingliston Revival

After driving to the Ingliston Circuit in Edinburgh in the pouring rain around 11am we were a little disappointed when we rolled up to the field and noticed there were very few cars. We wanted to arrive in time for the Mini stunt show and to see Ben Collins, the former Top Gear Stig so we assumed we were just really early.

When we finally got into the event (it took forever for tickets to be handed out and a rather long time for our tickets to be scanned, it was a good thing there wasn’t a major queue) we made the walk up the long, twisty pavement and stumbled upon dozens of soaked inflatables for children. I think all 4 of us started to have a bit of a panic at this point as it looked like a giant kid’s event. Fortunately further along the road were the cars and the track so our panicking was all in vain. Annoyingly I never got to go on the bouncy castle, why is it unacceptable for adults to jump around on an inflatable house?

Lamborghini

The first lot of cars we came across were the ones used for the driving experiences. My other half did the driving experience at Ingliston last year and got a little giddy about seeing the cars he drove again; to say he was smiling like there was no tomorrow after his experience would be a bit of an understatement.

You were able to do driving experiences in the cars at the Ingliston Revival but they had to be booked in advance for a decent amount of money. As much as I would like to fly around a track in a Lamborghini I don’t trust myself behind a wheel of one, I practically crash my car into the hedge every time I reverse into my own driveway after all.

Ingliston Revival

There were also a lot of classic cars on show and as soon as he saw them my dad started reminiscing about all of the cars he’s had over the years. It always amazes me when he manages to remember every single car he’s had since he can’t even remember my birthday. My other half’s reaction to all of the classic cars was to take pictures of their rims, for once my mum and I were the normal ones of the day.

After a lot of weaving in between cars and planning on which one I was going to steal first (the Lamborghini was top of my list) we made our way over to the track for Ben Collins and the Mini stunt show. If I’m being completely honest the whole thing seemed to be bit of a mess. Ben Collins appeared to be on the track when the pipe band was walking round on it and then the Minis came on while he was still whizzing around. I’m genuinely surprised there wasn’t an accident as it sure as hell seemed like it was going that way.

Gift experience Scotland

Once Ben Collins had finished his drive around the track the Minis started to get back into position again. There were 3 Minis in total and while the majority of the stunts involved driving, spinning and parking in awfully tight spaces my butt was firmly clenched out of nervousness. I practically had a heart attack when a Mini ended up on 2 wheels for a significant chunk of time. Needless to say I won’t be doing that in my Mini.

After the Mini stunt show we went in search of some food. I had cracked too many penis jokes thanks to a food stall that said “well hung” and it seemed to make my dad crave a burger (which exploded all over him). My other half on the other-hand had smelled someone’s pizza so he and I opted in for the cheesy, Italian goodness. The Big Blu van was the stand providing the pizza and oh my goodness were they to die for. The pizzas are all freshly prepared and cooked in a mobile wood-fired kitchen. They took around 10 minutes to make but the wait was so worth it. I’m practically drooling at the thought of the pizza just now.

Ingliston Revival

Once I had proved my other half wrong and scoffed my entire pizza (I rarely finish a meal in front of him so he thought I couldn’t handle a whole pizza) we had another look around the cars. I say we had another look but what actually happened is my other half kept disappearing and I kept looking for him. He really enjoys taking pictures of rims apparently, what a strange cookie.

By this point the sun had come out and dried everything off but we were nearing the end of our visit to Ingliston Revival. According to one of the guy’s my other half ended up talking to the event was going to be bigger and better on Sunday; whether that was true or not is a different story. It wasn’t a huge event on the Saturday but we did manage to lose a couple hours of our life to it so I guess it served its purpose. It’s just a shame it was pouring with rain in the morning and it wasn’t as well advertised as much as it should have been. I also never stole the Lamborghini in the end, I couldn’t figure out a way to do it without being extremely obvious. Maybe next time!

Lush King of Skin Review

Sunday, 13 September 2015

Bananas, cocoa butter, avocado and shea butter, all delightful ingredients your skin loves and they can all be found in Lush King of Skin. This is a smooth, solid body butter that glides over freshly washed skin and is a great way to moisturise when you just can’t be bothered.

I first tried King of Skin in November last year and it quickly became one of my favourite Lush products. At £5.75 for 75g that disappears rather quickly I try to not go overboard in purchasing King of Skin but I can’t help it; it’s just that good.

Lush King of Skin

When I first used King of Skin I tried it straight after stepping out of the shower but I found it to be a little difficult to use this way. I now only use King of Skin while in the shower and I always apply it right before I step out of the water for the day. I find it absorbs into my skin a lot easier this way.

King of Skin is a little greasy to touch and has a tendency to slip right out of my hands. I think it melts a little faster due to the fact it spends a lot of time lying in the warm water on my shower floor. As soon as King of Skin comes into contact with a bit of heat it begins to melt so it may be an idea to switch off the shower before using this and then rinsing off.

Lush King of Skin

I prefer to use King of Skin when my skin is on the drier side of things. I find Lush Sympathy for the Skin does the job the rest of the time but King of Skin adds a little bit more moisture. I do find King of Skin tends to linger on the skin both scent wise and the overall feel of it. It’s not a huge issue if you’re a fan of the light, almost white chocolate scent and don’t mind being a little slippery but if you prefer to be scent and slick free, King of Skin may not be your thing.

King of Skin is going to remain on my Lush favourites for a long time. It only lasts for around a week of non-stop use before it completely melts away hence why I try to ration my purchases. If you can get past how little you get for your money, you’ll be in for a right treat with King of Skin. I’ve yet to find anything better for really dry skin.

Caudalie Grape Water Review

Thursday, 10 September 2015

My first facial spray was hastily picked up in Boots 8 years ago after thinking it was something else. As much as I liked this mysterious spray, I saw it as a waste of time and it had no place in my skincare routine. I never repurchased it nor did I ever give it a second thought, well, until recently that is.

Caudalie Grape Water

The Selfridges Summer Beauty Box contained the Caudalie Grape Water which didn’t excite me as much as the other items did. I assumed it would end up in my drawer of half used items and wouldn’t resurface until I next decided to clear this abandoned drawer out. Weirdly though, I felt the urge to use it after removing my make up one night and was left pleasantly surprised.

Caudalie Grape Water is designed to soothe, refresh and moisturise the skin. It’s made from 100% organic grapes and is perfect for cooling down on a warm day. I tend to use this spray when I wake up (the cold liquid is great at jolting me awake) and after I’ve removed my make up. I have heard of people using this over their make up and having no issues but I’m reluctant to do that; knowing my luck my make up would slide off my face as a result.

Caudalie Grape Water

It’s a wonderfully light mist which dries within a few minutes. I find one quick spray is more than enough to cover my face and as a result, this bottle should last me for a long time. It’s possibly not the best thing to use if you’re in a rush since it can take its time to dry but if you’ve got the time, it’s a great addition to your skincare routine.

I’m not a huge fan of the smell of the Caudalie Grape Water as it’s just too grapelike for my taste – as ridiculous as that sounds. Fortunately the smell is only present when you spray the water and doesn’t linger on the skin.

Caudalie Grape Water

The Caudalie Grape Water definitely delivers on its promise of soothing, refreshing and moisturising the skin. It is not going to replace your typical moisturiser but it definitely calms and cools my skin especially if I’ve been in the sun for too long.

Overall I quite like Caudalie Grape Water despite being completely underwhelmed by its presence in the Selfridges Summer Beauty Box. I think it’s something I can live without so I won’t be in a rush to repurchase it when it runs out but I’m happy to spray it for now.

Top 10 Sex Tips

Monday, 7 September 2015


Sex is a glorious thing but sometimes our bid to spice up our sex lives just ends in awkwardness, pulled muscles and the occasional arrest. Here are my top 10 tips to keep you safe and orgasmless during your boring old sex sessions.

1. Never Use More Than One Condom At Any Given Time

You know that Asher Roth song where he says “when it comes to rubbers put 2 on”, ignore it. If your man wears more than one condom you run the risk of them rubbing together and splitting. Not to mention the squeaking gets a little annoying after a while and it’s a fire hazard.

2. If You’re Going to Have Sex Outside Don’t Do It On A Park Bench During The Day

Sex outdoors is great but do you really want the whole world to see you? If you feel the absolute need to do the dirty outside make sure you’re discreet, don’t just choose the first bench you see and go at it. Half the fun about having sex outside is knowing you might be caught but you don’t actually want a sweet old lady or a 5 year old kid to see you having a bit too much fun.

3. Put A Towel Down Before You Start Incorporating Food

Ah yes, the chocolate sauce tastes brilliant but your white sheets now look like you wiped your bum on them and your mum is asking questions. A towel isn’t sexy but neither are random stains you can’t explain. You also may get a yeast infection but at least there's chocolate sauce to take your mind off of it.

4. Don’t Try Those Moves You Saw In Cosmo Straight Away

So you’ve just lost your virginity and want to prove to your man how amazing in bed you are, of course you’re going to turn to Cosmo for tips but don’t! The majority of positions that magazine features can only be achieved by dislocating body parts and you’ll end up looking like a right fool. If you are going to attempt those moves make sure you stretch first and have a phone on hand just in case you need to call for help.

5. Latex Outfits Are Great Until One Of You Gets Stuck

If you and your partner enjoy wriggling around in a desperate attempt to remove what was supposed to be a hot sex inducing outfit then by all means, go ahead but don’t come crying to me when you get stuck.

6. A Tent Does Not Have Solid Walls…

Festival season is pretty much over but this is for all you future festival goers, we can hear you when you’re getting it on in your tent. You may think you’re being really quiet but nope, the whole campsite just heard you and we’re all cringing and laughing while also egging you on.

7. Sex In A Car Is A Horrible Couple of Minutes

I say couple of minutes but really, you’ll probably get to about 30 seconds before you cramp up and have to walk it off. If you and your sex buddy reach the “oh my god sit on my face” moment while in the car either hold off until you get home or at least make sure you’re in something bigger than a Mini.

8. Threesomes Are Awkward, Get Another Person

Threesomes look fine and dandy in porn but in the real world someone is always left out. Either introduce a fourth person, remove the third person or accept the fact that you may be better off making post sex sandwiches for the two humans rolling about with each other.

9. Taking It Up The Bum Bum Is Fun Until You Can’t Sit Down

You’ve only gone and done the extreme dirty in the bum but now it’s the next day and you can’t sit down at your desk. You can’t stand at work all day as people will ask questions but if you sit down and wince people will know what you’ve done. That’s what you get for playing in the human sewage plant.

10. Never Have Sex At A Party, Just Don’t Do It

Oh hey person who looks really cute because I’m really drunk, wanna go upstairs and jump on the bed? Let’s just forget the fact everyone can hear the bed springs and are walking in and out of the room for a sneak peek. I wonder when the host of the party last washed their sheets…

So there we have it folks, the only sex tips you’ll ever need. Just stay vanilla and you’ll be ok. We all know I’m joking here right?

College Sketchbooks

Friday, 4 September 2015

While digging through my cupboard in search for an eraser I stumbled across my old sketchbooks. I acquired quite a few while at college and felt the need to go through them. I haven’t really done anything creative (other than blogging) for a long time and it was quite nice to see what I used to spend my days doing. I thought I’d share some photos of what poured out of my 17 year old mind in hopes it will motivate me to actually start drawing again.

The theme for one of my classes was “what makes you you” and as I was a very dull person at the ripe old age of 17 the only thing I really had was music. I think you may be able to tell who my favourite band was based on 3 paintings/drawings in particular…to think, these are only the tip of the iceberg.


I really liked (I still do but not to the same extent) tattoos when I was a teenager so a few tattoo designs managed to sneak their way in. I’d love to say these were my own ideas but sadly, they’re not. I’m not that imaginative I’m afraid. I also liked Blink 182 at this point hence the logo; that was a love affair that burned out when I hit the age of 18.

These little prints were an assignment we had to complete. I can’t remember why I chose eyes and cherry blossoms but I do remember frequently drawing blood after shoving the cutting tool into my finger by mistake. Cutting tools and lino are dangerous things.


Ah a little pen drawing of Billie Joe Armstrong with a Tupac lyric above him. I think it’s safe to say Mr Armstrong looks horribly out of proportion and desperately needs to brush his hair.

This is just a really random page I did a few months ago while bored so it didn’t come from my teenage mind. The yellow post it note was given to me by mum the day after I had a bit of a meltdown while the other things are just random bits and bobs. At least you now know I saw Dallas Buyers Club in cinema because that’s obviously important…


Oh look, one of my many pop art style paintings of Green Day. This is one of the first paintings I did at college and was probably my favourite mainly because I actually got to spend some time on it. It’s also relevant to my theme so woohoo for that!

Here’s another random page which seems to involve a bad watercolour study of Billie Joe Armstrong’s eye. The blue, yellow and pink thing is something I used a few months ago to make a big paint mess on a piece of paper while the rose is merely just a rose, nothing more to it than that.


I forgot about the 30 Seconds To Mars glyphs. I almost had these tattooed on me when I was 18 but fortunately switched it over to a Joy Division song instead. There’s also a drawing of a ship in a bottle which I did for part of my brother’s tattoo design as well as a picture of Sam Carter from Architects. I had the most generic music taste ever when I was a teenager.

Well this page is a little bit weird. I did a drawing of Joey Jordison in sharpie on the previous page but didn’t like it. After discovering it had seeped through to the other side I covered it up with a poster of Corey Taylor which, as you can see, has since been ripped out. Now that doodle of Joey Jordison is forever staring at me from that page. Creepy.


Could that possibly be Billie Joe Armstrong again? Why yes, yes it is. Another pop up style painting of the man looking like someone has just shoved something somewhere he didn’t want it. Fabulous.

Well look here, my first painting in this entire sketchbook and it’s rather basic to say the least. It is supposed to say “Love Will Tear Us Apart” (the Joy Division tattoo I have in case you didn’t see that one coming) but it seems to be more like pink splodges over a black heart. I think this was my first ever attempt at graffiti style writing, I promise I’ve gotten a bit better since this attempt.

Well that’s really it in terms of completed pages in this sketchbook, it’s a miracle I managed to pass the class since I took so long on each drawing I barely managed any. What can I say? I like to spend time on my work rather than churning out lumpy painting after lumpy painting. I don’t think this post has actually rekindled my love of drawing, if anything, it’s made me question why I was allowed to study art to begin with.
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