The Ideal Beach Body

Friday, 14 July 2017


They say the best way to get a beach body is to take your body to the beach but what if you do have a beach body goal? Are you an asshole for thinking you need to look a certain way before stripping down to your swimsuit or is wanting to feel confident before showing some skin perfectly acceptable?

I’ve always had an image of the perfect beach body for myself. I want a toned stomach, toned legs and toned arms and I’ve worked on and off over the last year to achieve such a thing. The last time I was seen naked in public (woohoo for public changing rooms, not!) was November last year and I wasn’t overly happy with some of my limbs. The muscles in my legs had diminished due to not being able to run for 2 months and my stomach wasn’t the way I wanted it to be either. I didn’t feel bad about my body but I wasn’t 100% happy with the way it looked.

It’s taken me a long time to finally start accepting my body for what it is. I started puberty at the delightful age of 10 years old and, while I had the pleasure of growing body hair in places I rather it didn’t, my breasts forgot to make an appearance until my late teens. Sure they were there but I was all too aware of how small they were. Fortunately, I’ve always had, if I say so myself, a nice peachy bum and that always seemed to be the thing the guys I’ve been interested in have gone for. As much as I hate tying my own self-worth to men, it’s nice to know a part of your body you love is also admired by the males you’re dating.

I think it was really obvious that I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin as a teenager. While everyone else walked around in shorts and t-shirts during the Scottish summer, I sweated it out in skinny jeans and a hoody. It didn’t matter how hot I got, I would not show any more skin than needed. Even family holidays would have me covering up as much as possible. We rented villas with a private pool and I would always wear a top over my bikini under the false pretence that I was trying to avoid getting my shoulders sunburnt. I wouldn’t even sunbathe, I’d float around in the pool or I’d sit inside and read a book just to avoid being seen in a swimsuit.

Looking back, I really don’t know what I was bothered about. I never heard anything bad about my body (if anyone did say anything it definitely wasn’t to my face) and only ever received compliments from the guys who were allowed to see me without clothing. Thinking about all of those missed opportunities to wear shorts and all of the sweat I lost to skinny jeans in 23-degree heat makes me laugh. I can’t understand why I was so bothered by my body as a teenager but I understand why I have little niggles now; the self-conscious nature I had back then is still ever so slightly embedded in my brain.

I’m now fairly happy with my body but things could always be better. I don’t want to see the little jiggle my thighs do when I’m wearing shorts so I’m going to tone them up, I want my arms to have a bit of definition so I’m sorting that out, I want my stomach to remain flat at all times so I’m targeting that area. I’m not going to go full throttle, I don’t want to have a six pack or huge muscles but I just want to be able to walk around in a bikini and not feel like hiding in the water.

So yes people of the internet, I do have an ideal beach body and that is absolutely fine. You may be able to put your swimsuit on and prance around on the beach without a care in the world but I don’t have that luxury yet. I’ve got to work to get to that stage and I’m slowly but surely getting there.

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash Review

Monday, 10 July 2017

Garnier really knows how to get all of my money. If they bring out a variation of their micellar water I will come running with money in hand; it’s a vicious cycle but it’s one I can’t seem to break away from. It probably doesn’t come as a shock when I tell you that I bought the new Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash as soon as I saw it. What can I say? I’m weak when it comes to anything with “micellar” in the name.

The Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash is Garnier’s rinse-off gel wash answer to my beloved Garnier Micellar Water. It uses micellar technology to remove makeup, dirt and pollution from our skin and is gentle enough to use on the eyes and lips. Not only does Garnier promise this will remove makeup but it will also cleanse and mattify the skin.I picked up the version intended for those with combination and sensitive skin but, based on the Garnier website, I think this is more of a gimmick as they openly state the original cleansing gel wash is gentle enough for all skin types.

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash

I was expecting the Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash to be on par with the Garnier Micellar Water but it’s not even close. If I ever force myself into throwing away skincare products this will be the first to go as it’s honestly dreadful. It does remove some of my makeup but I still have to use the L’Oreal Micellar Water to get the main bulk of it off. The idea of using a foaming wash on my eyelids makes me recoil in horror but I did it in the name of this review (nothing but dedication around here) and I’ve never tugged at my eyes so much in my life. The cleansing gel wash does remove my eye makeup but it takes several attempts and a lot of unnecessary pressure. It also leaves my eyes stinging like crazy even if I make sure to not go anywhere near them when using the wash.

As for the other 2 promises well, I have serious doubts as to whether the Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash actually cleanses my skin and I’m starting to wonder if mattifying the skin actually means leaving it as dry as a desert. My skin usually leans more towards the oilier side of things in the summer but, thanks to this cleansing gel wash, it’s been dry and uncomfortably tight.

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash

One of the nice things about the Garnier Micellar Water is it doesn’t have a scent but the cleansing gel wash doesn’t have that luxury. This wash smells incredibly medicinal; it’s not overpowering and the smell is gone once I’ve washed the product off my skin but it’s enough to remind me of the hand wash you’re supposed to use whenever you walk into a hospital. I don’t know about you but I’d rather not think of hospitals when I’m doing something as frivolous as removing my makeup.

I think it’s safe to say I strongly dislike the Garnier Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash. It’s not the worst product in the world but, when you compare it to other micellar products on the market, it doesn’t match up. I’d love to be able to use this as a regular cleanser so it doesn’t go to waste but I don’t fancy drying out my skin every night. I expected this to become my new Holy Grail makeup remover but instead, it will lie in a drawer until I finally bother to get rid of it.
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